Reality Check ....On Grief

Grief originates when we experience a tragic event and we are expected to ‘get over it’ and ‘move on’ since ‘nothing lasts forever’, and ‘there is a light at the end of the tunnel’ and we should ‘stay strong and carry on’ because ‘tomorrow is a new day’.  Rubbish! 

It takes time (sometimes a lifetime and sometimes it just never happens) to get to grips with grief. It is not until you experience grief first hand and feel that deep painful loss (the one that changes you forever) can you know that, from that moment on, grief will shadow you forever.

Grief found me when I lost my father and over the last year, grief and I have become well acquainted. It has become my shadow. Some days it just hangs around – a dull ache just making its presence known and some days, there is no way of ignoring those raw, overwhelming, intense and all consuming waves that crush you over and over.  

On the other hand, grief puts life in perspective and it has changed me. I find that I look at the world differently, with more compassion and empathy, less judgemental, more gratitude. Most of all I don’t take life so dammed seriously any more.

Once embraced, grief gives you the freedom to love more, appreciate all that is good in life and try to live every day like it’s the best day ever.

From A to Z , a circle of life...

Albert

Zak

My darling Zak,

80 years and 7 months separate us and as you entered the world, I was exiting. Our paths crossed briefly when you were born on April 16^th 2013 and I passed on October 25^th, 2013.  

            

I will never hold you in my arms, or witness the many firsts you will experience: first words, first steps, first pair of football boots, first love, first job, and first heartbreak. I will not be there for you as you face the triumphs and joys of life. 

You will grow up in a very different world to the one I was born into 80 years ago.