Sunday, 19 October 2014

Reality Check ....On Grief

Grief originates when we experience a tragic event and we are expected to ‘get over it’ and ‘move on’ since nothing lasts forever’, and ‘there is a light at the end of the tunnel’ and we should ‘stay strong and carry on’ because ‘tomorrow is a new day’.  Rubbish! 

It takes time (sometimes a lifetime and sometimes it just never happens) to get to grips with grief. It is not until you experience grief first hand and feel that deep painful loss (the one that changes you forever) can you know that, from that moment on, grief will shadow you forever.

Grief found me when I lost my father and over the last year, grief and I have become well acquainted. It has become my shadow. Some days it just hangs around – a dull ache just making its presence known and some days, there is no way of ignoring those raw, overwhelming, intense and all consuming waves that crush you over and over.  

On the other hand, grief puts life in perspective and it has changed me. I find that I look at the world differently, with more compassion and empathy, less judgemental, more gratitude. Most of all I don’t take life so dammed seriously any more.

Once embraced, grief gives you the freedom to love more, appreciate all that is good in life and try to live every day like it’s the best day ever.

1 comment:

  1. Yes Luciana, grief is very unperedictable but as it is something that all will experience at some stage in our lives, for some it may happen many times. we all deal differently with it but although a cliche it is true that time does help, it doesn't mean you ever forget your loss, but that all-consuming loss does lessen slightly with time and you find your present life with family, children, grandchildren & friends is still busy and this helps you to cope.
    Also with time you are able to remember the person/s with more of a memory of all the happy & amusing things you shared together, rather than the anger or sorrow at the huge gap they have left in your life. A time will come when you perhaps don't think so much during that day,week or month, of the person you've lost and you initially feel guilty, Don't! This is natures way of helping you cope. You have a family to be proud of, enjoy every minute with them. Your Dad was so proud of you and he loved you. That memory will never fade, With love Cheryl xxx